Thank You, Academy…

The morning news today said that the American Academy of Dramatic Arts would be taking extra steps today to ensure that they would not repeat the mistake of having awards announced incorrectly.  Are there any steps which they could take to get some good movies made?

How Conspiracy Theories Get Started

A: So this plane was doing aerobatics above the whole time… Me: The aerobatics were a distraction.  It was a spy plane. A: You think they were watching us?  While doing aerobatics?  Really? Me: Oh, they can listen from planes, too. A: Well, they have laser microphones, sure.  But they were doing aerobatics! Me: Gyroscopically […]

Kung fu vs. Jiu-Jitsu (sic)

I don’t care what you have to say about how it translates to “real combat” (like you’d know). I’d still rather spend my time learning how to do this: …than learning how to do this:

My Abysmal Rating on

Currently, I have a rating of 53% as an reviewer. To be clear, most of my reviews are very well-received; however, I have written two negative reviews which have completely skewed my performance. The first is for the Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Basics DVD set. I’m sure Gracie Jiu-Jitsu is a great sport; however, as a […]

The Birth Control Mandate

My opinion on the birth control mandate: if you really feel justified in forcing other people to pay (read: stealing) for your birth control, I am perfectly happy to fund 100% of your abstinence. If you are unhappy with abstinence (100% effective as both a method of birth control and disease prevention), I might be […]

Movie Review: Ted

What happens when a bunch of actors I don’t care for get together to play a bunch of characters I couldn’t possibly care about? Ted. I will hand it to the writers, the movie is occassionally clever (“Nothing is more powerful than the Christmas wish of a young boy. Except an Apache helicopter.”). And, frankly, […]

The Top Ten Worst Movies of All Time, According To…

Rifftrax, the major franchise spawn of my perennial favorite, Mystery Science Theater 3000.  They apparently do a regular poll of their fans to vote on the worst movies, and here is their list of worst movies, ever.  Exit quote: “If you put Halle Berry in a leather catsuit and STILL wind up with a 3/10 […]

Conversations With a Friend, Remembered

Me:  You are so middle-of-the-road, you make the people who paint the lines down the middle of the road, look not-middle-of-the-road. Him:  Yes, but have you ever noticed that those lines in the road are always a little bit to one side or the other? Me:  Yes, they are always to the left of me. […]