Hamophobes

“So, how did you like the tuna salad sandwich at that new deli?”

“Well, it wasn’t tuna salad.”

“Yes, it was!  It said so right on the menu!”

“Well, it was made with ham.  That makes it ham salad, not tuna salad.”

“You’re just afraid of change!  You’re intimidated by things that challenge your tiny mind!”

“No, I understand ham salad quite well.  In particular,  I understand that it is substantively different from tuna salad.  That doesn’t mean that ham salad can’t work, just that calling it ‘tuna salad’ does a disservice to everyone involved.  In fact, there are a lot of places where eating a ham salad sandwich isn’t simply a matter of taste–it has serious moral repercussions.  Selling someone a ham salad sandwich which you disguised as tuna salad would a reprehensible act under those circumstances, and I fail to see why it wouldn’t represent fraud in any event.”

“I knew it!  You’re just a mean, stupid HAMOPHOBE!”