Paraphrased for brevity and clarity:

—–

Him: You can’t possibly be so stupid and uneducated as to dismiss the theory of evolution.

Me: Intelligent Design is a theory of evolution.  There are several.

Him: No, there aren’t!

Me: Certainly there are.  Darwinism, Neo-Darwinism, Catastrophism, and Intelligent Design off the top of my head.  I believe that there are at least two more.

Him: I’ve never heard of any of those.  “Intelligent design” is just another word for Christian creationism.

Me: Why would you say that?

Him: Because it’s true!

Me: They are only tangentially related; Intelligent Design theory does not specify a designer.

Him: Please!  Don’t even start with that nonsense.  It’s just Christian creationism.  Look, here’s a book.

Me: Well, that’s not really the cutting edge of Intelligent Design research…  But let’s assume for argument’s sake that you are correct, and Intelligent Design is just another term for Creationism.  Allow me to propose a new field of study, in which cosmology and biology are examined using information theory to see whether evidence can be found for deliberate design in their construction.  Certainly you can agree that that is a legitimate scientific inquiry?

*crickets*

—–

Her:  This is a victory for Separation of Church and State!

Me:  But ‘Separation of Church and State’ refers to the First Amendment keeping the Federal government from dictating the terms of religious practice.  This is actively preventing American citizens from even expressing their religious beliefs, simply because they hold office.  Or serve in the military.  It is the opposite of Separation of Church and State.

Her:  Whatever.  Politicians shouldn’t be able to force their religion on me.

Me:  Well, I certainly agree with that.  But this isn’t a religious issue, it is a legal and epistemological one.  But if we can agree that no one can force their religion upon you, why should you be able to force your atheism on other people?

Her:  Because of Separation of Church and State!

—–

Me: I believe it likely that the Exodus is a mythologization of an historical event.

Him: How many Israelites left Egypt at what time?

Me: This story was written before the invention of science or history, by a culture which valued emotional impact over accuracy in its writings.

Him: How many Israelites left Egypt at what time?

Me:  The information you are asking for is not available.  It’s like the Feeding of the Multitude; the reader is not to expect that someone actually took a census and counted 5,000 men plus women and children.  A first-century Aramaic author would use a number he felt conveyed the appropriate emotional impact of what he saw.

Him:  So, how many Israelites left Egypt at what time?

Me: More than one, at some time between 2,000 and 10,000 years ago.

Him:  That’s a ridiculous answer!

Me: You are asking a ridiculous question.  The conversation cannot move forward as long as you insist on ignoring the cultural and linguistic nature of the work in question.

Him:  I’m not here to have a conversation with you.  I’m here to show you how stupid you are!

—–

UPDATE: Lamarkianism is another theory of evolution.  It was largely considered debunked for a long time, but has minor support from the emerging science of epigenetics.

Published by Little-Known Blogger

I spent the first years of my life in a trailer park outside of a tiny town in rural Missouri. I grew up to be a long-haired, gun-hating, military-hating, Presbyterian super-liberal. Well, perhaps the “growing up” happened later. While in high school, I was on the cross-country and wrestling teams, and actually won my weight-class in a State powerlifting competition. I went on to attend college on a Bright Flight scholarship, where I promptly became an atheist. I trained for a few years in Shotokan karate and Cheng-system taijiquan before training in my first real martial art, Hwarang-Do, under the late Franklin Fowlkes (later the Founder and Grandmaster of the Five Elements Martial Arts System). I married an older Taiwanese woman my junior year, got divorced in short order, and dropped out of college. After completing my AA in Psychology, I decided I needed a complete change of scenery and joined the U.S. Marine Corps (having early been assured that there was no way that a skinny liberal like me would ever survive Boot Camp). Contrary to what the Hipster Zombies will tell you, this did not “brainwash me into being a Conservative”. Instead, it made me a very unhappy, short-haired liberal, surrounded by guns and the military. However, I spent my whole contract (after schools) on the island of Okinawa, where I was exposed to points of view not dominated by the American liberal media. During this time, I taught ESL classes as a side-job, trained under some of the highest-ranking masters of karate on Okinawa, and discovered the practice of Buddhism. I also spent some time in Korea, where I got to train in hapkido. It was during this period that I came gradually to realize how stupid and evil American liberalism actually is. This was partly due to my Military Police command sending me to Small Arms Instructor school, which gave me more exposure to guns than I could ever have imagined—thus negating my idiotic liberal distaste for them. After the active-duty portion of my Marine Corps contract was over, I worked several jobs, from security contracts to operating a forklift in a warehouse. In 2002, however, when the invasion of Iraq was getting under way, I signed up with the Missouri Army National Guard, and have remained with them since, continuing as a Military Policeman. I am also full-time corrections officer, a member of the Anglican Church, and at one time was an Instructor Candidate in Dekiti-Tirsia Serradas Kali (until my instructor moved away). My hobbies (beyond blogging) include strength training, shooting sports, martial arts, creating digital art, and being a huge science and science-fiction geek.

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