Japanese Girlfriend: “Hey, there’s a karate tournament this weekend!” *hands me a paper*
Me: Oh, let’s see… This guy does Shorin-ryu, this guy does Goju-ryu, this guy does Shorin, Shorin, Goju… No, he does Uechi-ryu…
Japanese Girlfriend: “I thought you couldn’t read Japanese?”
Me: I can’t. I can tell what style they practice by how they are standing.
Japanese Girlfriend: *Stares* *Drools*
*Walking into a Chinese martial arts studio for the first time*
Me: Well, I see tiger forks. This must be a southern style.
Instructor: *Stops short* *Stares for ten seconds* “Have you… studied kung fu before?”