Adventures of an Amateur Hoplologist

Japanese Girlfriend: “Hey, there’s a karate tournament this weekend!” *hands me a paper*

Me: Oh, let’s see…  This guy does Shorin-ryu, this guy does Goju-ryu, this guy does Shorin, Shorin, Goju… No, he does Uechi-ryu…

Japanese Girlfriend: “I thought you couldn’t read Japanese?”

Me: I can’t.  I can tell what style they practice by how they are standing.

Japanese Girlfriend: *Stares* *Drools*

—–

*Walking into a Chinese martial arts studio for the first time*

Me: Well, I see tiger forks.  This must be a southern style.

Instructor: *Stops short* *Stares for ten seconds* “Have you…  studied kung fu before?”

Me: No.