The Tea Partier and the CEO

I have seen an image being passed around several friends’ walls on Facebook, and I’m sure you’ve seen it, too: an evil, grinning man in a suit holding a cookie, next to a joke in which he (a corporate Chief Executive Officer) takes 11 out of 12 cookies on a plate, and then warns the Tea Partier to beware of a Union member trying to steal his cookie.

It may be that you have even considered this cartoon to be funny. Allow me to disillusion you by explaining how this works in real life. As it turns out, the cookie is a better metaphor for wealth than the creator of the cartoon probably understood, because it is something which is both produced and consumed. This is actually at odds with the intention of the image, in which there is just a single plate of cookies, which the CEO is hoarding. This image comes from a confusion between WEALTH, which is created in the value of work produced, and simple CURRENCY, or printed money. If nothing else, the existence of credit cards should make clear that it is possible to access wealth without having any printed currency involved.

That being said, here is what should actually happen in this scenario:

The Tea Partier should also be a cookie maker. On his own, he can produce 100 cookies per day, all of which are his–but he must use those cookies for food, and to purchase the equipment and ingredients he needs to make more cookies. This leaves him with an average of 10 cookies for himself per day. Eventually, he decides to work for the CEO; he only gets to keep 1 out of 10 cookies he makes, but thanks to better equipment and assembly lines, he makes 1200 cookies per day–getting 12 cookies for himself per day with no overhead.

Enter the Union Rep: for a mere 4 cookies per day, he will guarantee the Tea Partier’s employment. Sounds like a good deal–except that the Tea Partier is already protected by Federal law, and, being a good employee, is more likely to be rewarded than fired. So, the Tea Partier (having had his family threatened by SEIU), finds himself taking home only eight cookies per day with benefit to himself. The Union rep DOES protect someone, however; namely, the employee who should be fired. Unproductive and disruptive, this employee causes the Tea Partier’s production to drop, so now he is only taking home six cookies per day–and the CEO can’t fire the disruptive employee because of the union.

In fact, production drops so low that the corporation cannot pay its expenses, and so turns to the government for help. In response, the government raises the funds to bail out the corporation by taxing the cookie-makers, including the Tea Partier, who is now only taking home four cookies per day.


Published by Little-Known Blogger

I spent the first years of my life in a trailer park outside of a tiny town in rural Missouri. I grew up to be a long-haired, gun-hating, military-hating, Presbyterian super-liberal. Well, perhaps the “growing up” happened later. While in high school, I was on the cross-country and wrestling teams, and actually won my weight-class in a State powerlifting competition. I went on to attend college on a Bright Flight scholarship, where I promptly became an atheist. I trained for a few years in Shotokan karate and Cheng-system taijiquan before training in my first real martial art, Hwarang-Do, under the late Franklin Fowlkes (later the Founder and Grandmaster of the Five Elements Martial Arts System). I married an older Taiwanese woman my junior year, got divorced in short order, and dropped out of college. After completing my AA in Psychology, I decided I needed a complete change of scenery and joined the U.S. Marine Corps (having early been assured that there was no way that a skinny liberal like me would ever survive Boot Camp). Contrary to what the Hipster Zombies will tell you, this did not “brainwash me into being a Conservative”. Instead, it made me a very unhappy, short-haired liberal, surrounded by guns and the military. However, I spent my whole contract (after schools) on the island of Okinawa, where I was exposed to points of view not dominated by the American liberal media. During this time, I taught ESL classes as a side-job, trained under some of the highest-ranking masters of karate on Okinawa, and discovered the practice of Buddhism. I also spent some time in Korea, where I got to train in hapkido. It was during this period that I came gradually to realize how stupid and evil American liberalism actually is. This was partly due to my Military Police command sending me to Small Arms Instructor school, which gave me more exposure to guns than I could ever have imagined—thus negating my idiotic liberal distaste for them. After the active-duty portion of my Marine Corps contract was over, I worked several jobs, from security contracts to operating a forklift in a warehouse. In 2002, however, when the invasion of Iraq was getting under way, I signed up with the Missouri Army National Guard, and have remained with them since, continuing as a Military Policeman. I am also full-time corrections officer, a member of the Anglican Church, and at one time was an Instructor Candidate in Dekiti-Tirsia Serradas Kali (until my instructor moved away). My hobbies (beyond blogging) include strength training, shooting sports, martial arts, creating digital art, and being a huge science and science-fiction geek.

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