Oh, my…

Last Sunday’s service at Unity Church of Peace was… not memorable. Apparently, the several people who are all responsible for putting the service together ALL decided to “wing it.” What was memorable, however, was the workshop I was invited to after.
These sorts of activities were why I had decided to settle down into the Unity congregation in the first place… I thought. The workshop, as originally described to me, was titled “Have You Had a Spiritual Experience?” Since it’s fairly difficult to imagine someone having the sorts of experiences they gave as examples–OOBE’s, for example–and not realize it, I assumed that it would be a sharing group.
It was actually a workshop on “ECKANKAR,” the self-described “religion of the light and sound of God.”

It was RIDICULOUS.

It is organizations like this that really give esoteric studies a bad name. The group–consisting of myself and about a dozen middle-aged women–sat around chanting “HU” (pronounced “hyoo”) and talking about dreams we’d had (well, I didn’t participate much…). “HU” was described as, I kid you not, “a love song to God,” which had been “used in ancient civilizations from Africa to South America.”

RIIIGHHHT.

First of all, esoteric religions is my second-biggest hobby, just behind martial arts; and my best friend has a master’s degree from Oxford in Early Christian History and is working on his D.Phil. on the Roman occupation of sub-Saharan Africa. If “HU” was really this universal sound, ONE OF US would have heard of it.
Second, I haven’t bought God dinner. I’m certainly not going to meet His parents. As close as I may feel to God, we’re really not in the sort of relationship where I sing love songs to Him. Had Dr. Klemp–the founder of ECKANKAR–put forward the statement that he had worked with yogic mantras (or some other form of sacred vibration) and found “HU” to be particularly useful… I might have been interested. But I’m not going to work with any group that lies to its members.

There was also a Tarot exercise… except it wasn’t described as a Tarot exercise, and we didn’t use Tarot cards. Instead of universal symbolism developed over centuries of refinement, we used index cards with pictures the coordinators had clipped from magazines the night before. I was somewhat less than surprised when the exercise turned out to be useless to me.

Anyway, I certainly don’t recommend ECKANKAR, and I hope that I am exposed to something more substantive in the near future.

Published by Little-Known Blogger

I spent the first years of my life in a trailer park outside of a tiny town in rural Missouri. I grew up to be a long-haired, gun-hating, military-hating, Presbyterian super-liberal. Well, perhaps the “growing up” happened later. While in high school, I was on the cross-country and wrestling teams, and actually won my weight-class in a State powerlifting competition. I went on to attend college on a Bright Flight scholarship, where I promptly became an atheist. I trained for a few years in Shotokan karate and Cheng-system taijiquan before training in my first real martial art, Hwarang-Do, under the late Franklin Fowlkes (later the Founder and Grandmaster of the Five Elements Martial Arts System). I married an older Taiwanese woman my junior year, got divorced in short order, and dropped out of college. After completing my AA in Psychology, I decided I needed a complete change of scenery and joined the U.S. Marine Corps (having early been assured that there was no way that a skinny liberal like me would ever survive Boot Camp). Contrary to what the Hipster Zombies will tell you, this did not “brainwash me into being a Conservative”. Instead, it made me a very unhappy, short-haired liberal, surrounded by guns and the military. However, I spent my whole contract (after schools) on the island of Okinawa, where I was exposed to points of view not dominated by the American liberal media. During this time, I taught ESL classes as a side-job, trained under some of the highest-ranking masters of karate on Okinawa, and discovered the practice of Buddhism. I also spent some time in Korea, where I got to train in hapkido. It was during this period that I came gradually to realize how stupid and evil American liberalism actually is. This was partly due to my Military Police command sending me to Small Arms Instructor school, which gave me more exposure to guns than I could ever have imagined—thus negating my idiotic liberal distaste for them. After the active-duty portion of my Marine Corps contract was over, I worked several jobs, from security contracts to operating a forklift in a warehouse. In 2002, however, when the invasion of Iraq was getting under way, I signed up with the Missouri Army National Guard, and have remained with them since, continuing as a Military Policeman. I am also full-time corrections officer, a member of the Anglican Church, and at one time was an Instructor Candidate in Dekiti-Tirsia Serradas Kali (until my instructor moved away). My hobbies (beyond blogging) include strength training, shooting sports, martial arts, creating digital art, and being a huge science and science-fiction geek.

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3 Comments

  1. Oh G.P.! This blog made me laugh!! Though I barely understood any of it. (What is OOBE?) I just picture you sitting with those middle aged women…lol! :O Poor guy… you must have been so annoyed.Anyway. As for “a love song to God”…. I told you before, that I do think God is romantic. 😛

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