Movie Madness

Well, happy birthday to me. Last night I watched two movies: Seeker: The Dark is Rising (at the cinema), and Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. I’ll reveal the older movie first.

Rise of the Silver Surfer was not as bad as I had been led to believe. The Army personnel were not in Army uniforms, but to be honest, given certain other details of the movie, I’m just as glad that they weren’t. Galactus as a big space-cloud actually worked for me; I think a giant with a big helmet would have been a little cheesy. I really could have done without all of the wedding preparation–I think the movie would have been much better starting with a crashed wedding and adding 30 minutes of action.
That’s a relatively minor gripe, though.
The big thing, and it is big, is that the U.S. Army is shown quite GLEEFULLY torturing a prisoner (“There are certain things I can’t do because they’re human rights violations. Luckily, you aren’t human.”) This, I suppose is what amounts to “non-partisan” in Hollywood: they won’t say that the military DOES torture prisoners–but we obviously WANT to. I mean, we’re the military, right? We’re all a bunch of slavering, inhuman rapists. Obviously, we spent our youths torturing small animals with hack-saws.
Did I mention that Marvel Comics killed off Captain America earlier this year? Anyway:

The Dark is Rising is one of my all-time favorite series of books. I probably read the entire pentalogy a dozen times in junior high school and high school. Unfortunately, and unsurprisingly, this isn’t it. I mean, it’s not Starship Troopers bad, or Brahm Stoker’s Dracula bad, or Earthsea bad… But it ain’t good.
As much as I have read the series, it has been many years since my last perusal–so I really can’t comment on how exactly the movie follows the book (although I can certainly estimate). For me watching, the worst part was the villain: although the split personality would have been interesting had there actually been a dichotomy between the Rider persona and the Doctor persona, there wasn’t: the Rider simply had no menace at all. His line delivery was completely bland, thus removing any potential tension from his scenes.

Published by Little-Known Blogger

I spent the first years of my life in a trailer park outside of a tiny town in rural Missouri. I grew up to be a long-haired, gun-hating, military-hating, Presbyterian super-liberal. Well, perhaps the “growing up” happened later. While in high school, I was on the cross-country and wrestling teams, and actually won my weight-class in a State powerlifting competition. I went on to attend college on a Bright Flight scholarship, where I promptly became an atheist. I trained for a few years in Shotokan karate and Cheng-system taijiquan before training in my first real martial art, Hwarang-Do, under the late Franklin Fowlkes (later the Founder and Grandmaster of the Five Elements Martial Arts System). I married an older Taiwanese woman my junior year, got divorced in short order, and dropped out of college. After completing my AA in Psychology, I decided I needed a complete change of scenery and joined the U.S. Marine Corps (having early been assured that there was no way that a skinny liberal like me would ever survive Boot Camp). Contrary to what the Hipster Zombies will tell you, this did not “brainwash me into being a Conservative”. Instead, it made me a very unhappy, short-haired liberal, surrounded by guns and the military. However, I spent my whole contract (after schools) on the island of Okinawa, where I was exposed to points of view not dominated by the American liberal media. During this time, I taught ESL classes as a side-job, trained under some of the highest-ranking masters of karate on Okinawa, and discovered the practice of Buddhism. I also spent some time in Korea, where I got to train in hapkido. It was during this period that I came gradually to realize how stupid and evil American liberalism actually is. This was partly due to my Military Police command sending me to Small Arms Instructor school, which gave me more exposure to guns than I could ever have imagined—thus negating my idiotic liberal distaste for them. After the active-duty portion of my Marine Corps contract was over, I worked several jobs, from security contracts to operating a forklift in a warehouse. In 2002, however, when the invasion of Iraq was getting under way, I signed up with the Missouri Army National Guard, and have remained with them since, continuing as a Military Policeman. I am also full-time corrections officer, a member of the Anglican Church, and at one time was an Instructor Candidate in Dekiti-Tirsia Serradas Kali (until my instructor moved away). My hobbies (beyond blogging) include strength training, shooting sports, martial arts, creating digital art, and being a huge science and science-fiction geek.

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